


The Struggle is Real

by soldiermom1973



Series: Virmire Survivor [15]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Backstory, Gen, MER week 2018, Shenkrios, Virmire Survivor, father/son angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:23:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldiermom1973/pseuds/soldiermom1973
Summary: Thane Krios has a long way to go to fix his relationship with his son.  The journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step.  For Thane, it's a journey that starts when he prevents his son from assassinating a politician.





	The Struggle is Real

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for day 4 of the [Mass Effect Relationships Week](http://vorchagirl.tumblr.com/post/161389252811/mass-effect-relationships-week-fanfiction-promps) thing over on tumblr. This could work for anyone's Shepard,but for me this is more Virmire Survivor background.

Thane clasped his hands at the small of his back as the door hissed shut behind him. He noticed Kolyat's shoulders tense when the lock clicked and he hesitated for a few moments, not sure how to proceed. He didn't have the gift for words Shepard did; there was something in her tone and the words she chose that put people at ease and made them warm up to her. He envied that sometimes - like now, when he needed to know the right thing to say and the right way to say it. Kolyat sat only a few feet away from him but that distance seemed more like light years and Thane had no idea what to do to bridge that gap.

The younger drell sat with an ice pack pressed to his cheek. Thane wondered how much Shepard's punch hurt him. She was no slouch and Thane was on the receiving end of more than one of her blows when they sparred in the cargo hold. She apologized for punching the boy afterward, believing it to be a preferred alternative to shooting him. Thane agreed although he had a feeling Kolyat didn't see it that way. At least Kolyat's hands were free, making it easier to hold the pack to his bruised skin. It was something Bailey was reluctant to agree to. Thane insisted, though, promising the Captain that his son posed no threat to him. It was only with Shepard's own assurances that the C-Sec human relented.

Thane sighed, trying to still nerves he hadn't felt in years and think of what to say to break the ice. Kolyat beat him to it though.

“Are you going to just stand there and stare at the back of my head or are you going to sit down?”

Thane thought he heard a little humor in his son's voice and didn't fight the smile that crept across his lips.

“I apologize. I wasn't sure...”

“What? If I wanted to you here? It doesn't seem I have much choice in the matter, does it?”

Sarcasm. Bitterness. Anger. This was what Thane was expecting. He still didn't know what to do with it or what to say. His smile faltered, then faded as he approached the empty chair across from his son. Kolyat tossed the ice pack onto the table and glared up at his father.

“If you want me to go, I'll go.”

Kolyat sighed and shook his head. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair, wincing at the sound the other chair made when Thane pulled it away from the table to sit.

The younger drell glanced at him, then focused on his fingers playing with the ice pack. “How is your jaw?” Thane asked. “I could get you another one of those if you need it.”

“No, I'm fine,” Kolyat mumbled. “Your human friend throws quite the punch, though.”

“Yes, she does,” Thane chuckled. “She's gotten me a few times when we train together.”

Kolyat didn't answer, continuing to focus on his fingers tracing through the condensation on the cold pack in front of him. Several moments passed before Thane cleared his throat and spoke again. “Are you thirsty? Or hungry? I could get you...”

“Just stop,” Kolyat snapped. “Stop with the small talk and trying to act like my friend.”

Thane blinked and pressed his lips together. He rested his hands on the table, weaving his fingers together, concentrating on the way the light reflected off his skin while he gathered his thoughts. Again, he wished he had Shepard's way with words, almost darting from the room to ask her advice. She'd done enough for him already, though. It was his fault Kolyat's life had come to this and he was the one who needed to try to make it right.

“I don't know what to say, Kolyat,” he murmured. “I should have been there for you, but your mother's death... I handled it the only way I knew how.”

“And that made it ok to abandon me?” Kolyat's voice cracked and Thane could hear the pain in his words.

“No,” he whispered, unable to look at his son. “I should have called or sent messages but I was afraid that while I was tracking down your mother's killers, they would come back for you.”

Thane finally raised his eyes to gaze at his child. Kolyat's cheeks were wet with tears and his eyes were filled with a mixture of rage and anguish. Thane's own chest ached knowing this might have been avoided if he would have at least checked in once in a while.

“Kolyat...”

“I needed you. I needed you and you weren't there for me.”

“I'm here now.” Thane resisted the urge to reach across and cover Kolyat's hands with his own. “I can't change the past, but I...” He took a deep breath, willing himself to maintain his calm. “...I want to be here for as much of your present and future as you'll let me. Please.”

Kolyat didn't answer right away. Thane was patient though – his line of work demanded it – and he was willing to give his son as much time as he needed to gather his thoughts and figure out what he was going to say. He wondered how long Shepard would be willing to wait and realized it didn't matter. Bailey said the room was theirs and Shepard told him to take as long as he needed. He would make all of this up to her later...

“Why put that package together if you didn't want me to follow in your footsteps?”

Kolyat's soft question brought Thane out of his thoughts. “Because I wanted you to have the choice to know something about me, about why I wasn't there for you,” he answered. “I didn't mean for it to be a way for you to 'follow in my footsteps.' You deserve more than this. And you weren't supposed to have that package until after my soul departed my body.”

“That woman said you're dying. Is that true?” He sounded like he was six again, begging his father for one more crazy dance around the room.

“I have Kepral's,” Thane replied, careful to keep his tone even.

“So did you just come because you want to die with a clean conscience or something?” His voice was still small, but the bitterness was creeping back in.

“No,” Thane answered quickly. “I found out what you were doing and I wanted to stop you. I don't want this life for you, Kolyat. It's dangerous and...” He sighed and closed his eyes, remembering the long nights spent away from his wife and child. The years spent without so much as a friend. Sure, he had plenty of contacts and acquaintances, but nothing like what he had been experiencing on the Normandy. People he could laugh with, lean on, count on to watch his back during a mission. He realized that in the short time he had been a part of the Normandy's crew – no, Shepard's team, her _family_ – he would desperately miss the camaraderie if he went back to working on his own.

“It's a lonely existence, Kolyat.”

“So those aren't your friends out there? That woman who punched me seems like she cares about you.”

“Commander Shepard is a good friend,” Thane murmured, leaning forward and folding his hands together. “I care about her a great deal.”

Thane risked reaching out and resting his hand above his son's, relieved when he didn't pull away. “I care about you, too, Kolyat, whether you believe it or not. I wouldn't be here now if I didn't.”

“So what do we do now? It isn't like you can spin me around your office like you did when I was little.” It seemed like there should be humor in his observation, but there was no smile on Kolyat's face.

“A lot of time has passed,” Thane agreed. “I wouldn't expect we could just pick up as though nothing happened. I would like to get to know you again, though. To message you, maybe call from time to time and check on you, if that's ok. Perhaps meet for tea or lunch when the Normandy is docked.”

Kolyat didn't answer but fresh tears streaked down the young man's face. For a moment, Thane's heart froze with fear and the thought that it was too little, too late. He braced himself for more of his son's anger, fully expecting him to tell him to leave and never come back. Instead, Kolyat's next words set his heart soaring.

“I think I'd like that.”


End file.
